Wear your past on your sleeve !

"I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi

A really dear friend of mine put forth, to me, a question in all its simplicity, "When people write so much about all the things going on in the world, the surroundings they are so conscious about, why then doesn't anyone write about ones subconscious mind?"

I have pondered over it, mulled over it, and arrived at the conclusion that in order for a person to portray the subconscious mind, he should be comfortable in being with himself and absorb every thought that he feels. Not many would like to do that though, probably for the fear of not liking what they would be faced with. 

Its scary really, even for me. The thought of sitting in solace with oneself. We all run away from what makes us feel, what stirs up emotion in us, such emotion that seems alien to us, so we avoid it altogether for fear of the unknown. I've tried to sit and just be. Absorb whatever my mind wants me to. Its tough really, because for a few seconds I can feel myself channelling my thoughts, letting myself be drifted back into times forgotten. But sooner than later, it happens almost reflexively, and I'm back into the present. 

I wonder sometimes, that why do we run away from solitude? Isn't revisiting memories something that should make us happy, be it good or bad memories. Why then do I retreat from being taken into the past? Why do people say its in the past let it be, theres nothing ever good that can come from being in the past. My answer to them is,

Its your past. You have already been there once before and well guess what, you survived, so what are you so scared of to revisit it again?  

Honestly knowing where you come from, and discovering yourself is the best gift you can gift to you, from you. Everyone is too scared to dust off the surface, its not just you and me. But once in a while, take the road less taken, take time off to introspect. You may surprise yourself with what you find, for all you know you are a butterfly dreaming he's a man, and wouldn't that be splendid? Because thats the power of your subconscious mind, it will baffle you in more ways than one. Its a safe place, not a place where you have to put up your best front. It will let yourself be you. 

Revisit it, and keep revisiting it, till the time when your thoughts and experience is simply in its existence, a beautiful page in the story that you are the author to.

Would you like to read a book that has a few pages missing? Look back at your past with fondness, its the pages that make all the difference to your beautiful story.

Carry it on you sleeve, much like your beating heart because those few pages that you would otherwise bury away, make all the difference to the plot.